Her

The winds are howling smashing against his walls.  The relentless onslaught of power from the depths fight and fight.  He hears the strength of the battle.  He knows the power of that wind only because he began to fight.  Before.  Before when he let it take him there was no lasting struggle.  There was only his breath.  There was only himself and no other.  Everything was different.  He knew where the wind would take him.  He had seen it in his dreams.  They go back to the depth from where they came.  He knew the death they bring.  Still he let them take him.  He forgot the future and lived only the present.  The quiet alone present.  Then he saw, he saw the reason he had to fight.  The reason he had to grab and hold on.  The reason to battle the depths that so greedily grabbed at him.  He saw her.  Her tragic beautiful figure standing, a fighter.  He knew he needed to fight for her.  To struggle against all that would take him.  To be near her he would have to hold fast against the black tempest.  He fought and fought.  He began to fear he couldn't do it.  He couldn't hold on to that chaste ground.  Then he felt her.  Her reverent hand on his face.  Holding him.  Her strength seeping into his exhausted body.  He knew he could do it.  He could win the war against the storm.  He felt the wind begin to cease its hold on him.  He looked up and saw his barrier.  The wall she had made for him to keep out the storm.  He let his hold slacken on the ground.  He felt her warmth feel him with love.  He knew he could do it.  He felt hope.  He looked into her eyes and saw all that he could be.  She leaned in and whispered "I will always love you".  He did not know why she had chosen him.  Why her love was given to him but he didn't need to.  She was his home when he needed one.  The winds are still heard beating themselves in a useless stuggle to take him, but she defends him.

Through The Iris - 10 Years

Cherish
Two circular views of blue with a grey shade
So captivating
More than you know

False perceptions
That brought forth these questions of
Truth, love and hope
now that you're injuring
I carry you with me just
Please hold on

Dissapear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through your iris

Love's not all lost
But its raised to my cross
And crucified all that I've held on
To be awaiting
Anticipating a touch such as yours

False affection
A spawn of neglecting
A love, lust, hoax
Please understand me
That now where you're standing
Is closer then i'd hoped

Your iris
Your iris

Dissapear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
A new iris

My love language

Here is my chart.  Obviously I am a touchy person.  

Your Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	12
Quality Time:	8
Words of Affirmation:	7
Acts of Service:	3
Receiving Gifts:	0

Love

When you love someone you want to do anything you can for them.  You want to comfort them and make everything wrong right.  You want all of their pain to go away, and you want all the bad things disappear.  When you love someone you would do anything to make that happen.  You would go to hell and back to ease their pain.  There is one problem with that... it will weaken them.  We are all meant to have trials and pain in our life.  It is the natural order of things.  Without pain and tials we could not exist the same way that we do now.   Frankly there would be no point in living.  We would never get stronger then when we were born, but how doe we love someone and not descend to their level when they are in pain?  How do we not hurt when they hurt?  How do we not desire to fix their problems for them and do all we can to ease their burden?  I am not sure how to do this.  I am not sure this is what needs to be done.  I do know that we need to keep loving them no matter what.  We need to show them that we love them any way we can.  Let them know that we care and that we would do anything for them.  This is not as easily done as said.  We are human.  We make mystakes that are hard to fix.  We cant always be the best for someone else.  There are times that we will do something that needs forgiveness.  Times when we forget how we feel and get angry or mad or annoyed.  After these times are the times that we desire to fix what we have done.  To do more that fix that but to fix everything that they hurt about, but we cant do that.  To try and fix someones problem is to weeken them.  To cause them to see helplessness in themselves.  All we can do is trust the other person, the person we love, to forgive us of our shortcomings and to do what they need to the help themselves.  We need to only love them and be there with them in their dark times.  More than this will drag both down.  I need to show my love at a higher level.  Not at the level where I hurt at there pain but at a level where I will love at there pain.  Show that love can cure all heart ache and all trials.  Love.

I know this blogg is all over the place but I wrote it as it came.   

Life

In the deepest darkest reaches of my soul I find myself
I understand the truths that reach out and destroy
When I feel I feel the depth of all that binds me
I know all the pain and all the hate
I take it for myself I make it my own
I try to kill it try to throw back to the hell where it came
But hell spits upon me the blackness
There is no end it seems
The darkness sets in and holds
The light that once was is not
The only retaliation is emptiness
Emptiness from all
From the earth from the death
From the earth from the life
Gone are the feelings of a life passed
Gone the darkness that was
Gone the life that should be
Gone
.............
Life comes to those who ask
Life comes when death has failed
Life has the power to find
Comes the light that lost
Comes the life from the past
Comes the feelings of before
Love comes to those who ask
Love is there in the end
It finds those who need it most
I have found some love to hold
I have discovered the past that had run
I love one who found
Comes the light that she brings


I don't know what this was it just came out when I felt like blogging. I apologize for the... inadequate way I speak but its mine so take it as it is.

Ruled by Secrecy

repress and restrain 
still the pressure and the pain 
wash the blood off your hands 
this time she won't understand 

change in the air 
and they'll hide everywhere 
and no one knows who's in control 

you're working so hard 
and you're never in charge 
your death creates success 
and you'll build and suppress 

change in the air 
and they'll hide everywhere 
and no one knows who's in control 

change in the air 
and they'll hide everywhere 
and no one knows who's in control 

Sing for Absolution

Lips are turning blue 
A kiss that can't renew 
I only dream of you 
My beautiful 

Tip toe to your room 
A starlight in the gloom 
I only dream of you 
And you never knew 

Sing for absolution 
I will be singing 
And falling from your grace 
ooh 

There's nowhere left to hide 
In no one to confide 
The truth burns deep inside 
And will never die 

Lips are turning blue 
A kiss that can't renew 
I only dream of you 
My beautiful 

Sing for absolution 
I will be singing 
Falling from your grace 

Sing for absolution 
I will be singing 
Falling from your grace 

yeah